I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize