Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize