we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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