how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
