It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
