i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
