my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
