so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
