so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He better not be in your backpack
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
