we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
