guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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