he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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