Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
