you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
