You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
