so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he wants to bone in the snuggie
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
