I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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