Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
