yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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