you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Do you have feelings for this penis?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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