Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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