Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
