addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
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I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
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I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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