we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
