somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
