So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
