Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
