She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
