Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
