then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
