I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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