You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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