You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize