At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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