i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
