Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
