They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
