Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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