are you still at the devil's house?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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