I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The best revenge is premature balding
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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