he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
