fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize