he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I wear drunk well.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
