Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
If that was your dad, he is hot
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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