Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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