I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
