I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
