I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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