Soap is not a condiment
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
