She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
