physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
