He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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