try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
