like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
