maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
