Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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