in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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