Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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