lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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