And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
