i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
How external is "for external use only"?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Randomize
