So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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