can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize