This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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