Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
