So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
