You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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