you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
