You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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