I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
