He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
