i was born a porn star she said
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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